People. They surround us everywhere, from every side, one are evoking the smile, other reducing to tears. One are comforting, next undercutting. One help, other are doing everything in order to harm and destroy. One are as good as gold, whereas other are an incorporated evil. One persons cause that living is fine, other, that most willingly wouldn't get up from the bed... Some are like the lift to the sky, then again other are pulling to the bottom... People are as are, but it depends on us and only on us, whether they will manage to pull us to the bottom, whether we will exploit all badnesses which met us from their side as the lesson and the solid shield which will strengthen us for the future. Whatever won't kill, will strengthen us, and to toxic people we also need to develop the resistance, never surrender and build own internal mettle.

In the life we meet with various more or less strange, unpleasant, irritating situations and people, but some... Are already a pitiful and incredible bottom. I would even say the bottom of the bottom. Some nonsensicality. I don't understand what a human this someone has to be, what a level represent, that the main aim of the being choose working to someone's disadvantage, live only to annoy, to make out of spite, to harm, to track every smallest pace, every smallest movement so that next use it and combine how it's only possible in order to destroy someone's friendships, plans, relations with other people, everything, to ruin the entire life. Tell me, what a damn bottom it's necessary to be to at all costs try to destroy one person? How is it possible to impersonate somebody? How it's possible to steal someone's identity, someone's life only because of having ill delusions, and in the poor head something hallucinated, that "If I don't have what you have, I will take it away from you, and destroy you, because I like it"? Yeah tell me how? What piece of rubbish human has to be to do something like that? Something such nasty? What monster, total bottom, psychopath, in order to move on to such things? Because I don't know. I don't understand. I'm not able to comprehend it. I can understand a lot, but something like that, like it - not. Unfortunately.

Hello my dears!

Today Christmas Eve, so irrespective of the faith and the religion, I wish you the calm, the beautiful time spent in the nice company, everything what best, the magical atmosphere, power of joy, happiness, a huge smile on your face, fulfilling at least one the smallest dream and beautiful moments full of unforgettable feelings.
Merry Christmas! :*

PS. I promise that within a few nearest days I will come back and try to make up for the arrears caused by the long break which I had to do because of the quite big confusion and the multitude of events in my life in the recent time. :)

Since I remember, I've been a type of the human with ambitions, with plans, putting ahead myself huge and only huge aims which at all costs tried to reach. But you know what? Now I made aware that this is not this way. I realized that it's not only about it, not only to see this, what's far. I found motivation in even these most trivial details, the most trivial successes, in the smallest achievements which I even didn't notice before, completely not  appreciate it. And now? Now even a silly, nothing-meaning St Andrew's Eve prophecy, the ordinary play is able to give me a motivation and the positive energy to action, and such a thought twinkling somewhere deep inside "And maybe, maybe it will just be better and I'll get by?". Every consecutive survived day, every next well-done task, every next discovery, every next step forward give me strength. Give me motivation, in order to by getting little goals, make my way to the Mount Everest of life. I got up. And I'm acting, working, in order to achieve what I want. And in opposition to my previous attitude - now I don't even suppose the option like "no", don't  accept something like that, as "may not". Because it will be. It must be. Because I want it, I'm aspiring to it, believe in it, it's my purpose and I will reach it. Even and through tears, but I'll achieve. Because after all nobody said it's supposed to be easy. Important that it's effectively and finished with the success. And it will be, I hold on to it. There are no longer impossibles. No longer.

You know it? You know people who offend, abuse, humiliate, slate, do everything only in order to lead to tears, to break down, to destroy the self-assessment and the self-confidence? Yeah exactly, they do it for this only! For making someone feel worse! Only to destroy someone's sense of well-being! If only to bring someone's faith to the wreck in into own strength and the value! Because they're envious and deceitful people with the hurt, luxuriant ego, without own life, for which hate to other is the only food! Therefore mustn't undergo them! They're poking out for somebody, because can't say anything good about themselves! They'll hurl insults, because want to feel more appreciated! And as more this person will break down, the more they will be pleased! So head high up, breast ahead and for the attempt! Don't let them achieve their goal. We mustn't care with them, we have our value, so know it, appreciate and not let debase ourselves. We are strong, so use it and be bulletproof. We can afford it. Such parasites want our tears, so let's give them a broad smile which will be the biggest punishment which exists for them. It will burn such a hole in their ego, like in vampires the sun ;)

We live in the constant run, in a hurry, in the total amok, still rushing to something, searching endlessly not knowing of what, from target to target, as programmed machines without emotions, dreams and breaking points. We are doing something, because this way it's necessary. Because other want this way. Because world "expects" of this. Or else how will it look like, if we rebel. What people will say. Only whether actually we do it for ourselves? Whether really at least a bit we want what happens with us daily automatically,  "because it  must be this way"? No? After all. We live under such a pressure, that most often word "no" is stopping generally speaking exist, because.
Or else somebody will get cross. Or else somebody will be offended. Or else I will lose the friend. Or else people will be speaking ill of me. Or else the atmosphere will deteriorate. Or else I will be "this worse"... It's possible to give examples without ending, but everyone knows, what situations in the life met him and are meeting for the reason indeed unwelcome amongst the considerable part of society, opposition. However we have choice. Or to be a robot, machine working up to the dictation of the top-down imposed, irrational belief "because this way need to be", or as the Eminem's "Not Afraid" song says - not to give up, to rebel against what burns us down, destroys, what we don't want at all, but somehow we are being forced to it. Let, that I will quote the quotation which can be great as the mantra for persons with low self-esteem (although who knows Eminem, probably also knows this quotation by heart), and to remind that we live for ourselves - "When I say I'ma do something I do it, I don't give a damn what you think, I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world" . Don't be afraid to say "quite" for toxic life and let's start fighting for own, to do what is making us happy, what make us feeling fulfilled and valuable. The most important, don't care about the world, because we are doing it for ourselves. For ourselves, no for strangers and for what people will say. It's necessary to believe yourself and your power. Don't care about this, what other people say about us, just fix our own purposes, and we will get by and be happy. Good luck :)

People. As more you trust them, as more you care about them, as better you treat them, as more you want it to be well, as worse it is.  All the more they are wound. All the more they are hurt. You care, and they? They challenge, accuse, treat lightly, lead to tears, to suffering. They wound. They kill. Yes, they just kill. Because words  stab in the heart far more, than the knife. Far more. But some people don't understand. They don't understand and lead to wounds which can never heal up. Never... Never... Never... Remember about it, before you will act towards somebody this way. Because nobody deserves for such a treatment. Nobody.

When the time passes, whether we want it, whether no, we pass tests, we become aware of this, what important for us, more important, most important. We open our eyes, start notice this, of what we didn't notice before, what was hidden, what was stuck somewhere deep inside us, undiscovered, rough, like diamonds in the mine... With time we learn life, emotions, people, oneself... We learn how very much we are able to love, to suffer, to miss, to feel. We learn sadness and joy. We learn oneself, as oneself and each other. The passing time shows us, how many things we weren't conscious, how many power we didn't appreciate.
How lot is ahead of us.

Sometimes, nothing is as you want it to be, everything is like in the worst nightmare. In nothing you can see the sense, a willingness to life is disappearing, you're losing hope, you are fed up with everything and everyone, even you are starting thinking if not better would be, if you weren't, everything what you love, what you care about, suddenly is dissolving into thin air, and inexpressible sadness and depressive feelings are seizing you... Script most probably well-known to the majority, happens in the life of everyone, sooner or later, irrespective of the age... I also know it, ow I know and what's more how well, even I'm not able to come back to it, I can't... But damn it, yeah! Even though it's very hard, it's necessary to get up, it isn't easy, but it's necessary, it's necessary to fight and to find motivation anew, or else it's simple way to depression... As somebody at one time said it, after the storm a sun always comes out, so there is hope also for us, sometimes bottom, sometimes top, but unfortunately, such already it is. There is no life without fears, there's no smoke without fire, there is no day without the night, there's no brightness without darkness. Therefore we cannot be afraid. We cannot be afraid of this, what dark. We have to find the spark and lighten everything anew. Anew to find hope, the faith and power. Even though there is no lightly, I know. I know as far as too well. But after the night a new, bright day comes, and our dreams are its power.

Destiny. One of eternal riddles of the mankind. Does it exist? Or perhaps it's only one of folk superstitions on average thrown to the wind? If it's possible that somebody or something are bequeathed to every man in stars? Whether in our life interferes a higher power, which gets us for given paths, if we want it or no, to something very important for our future could happen, up to it, we would get to know somebody who will change us and our life for forever, who will cause that all pains, sorrows, suffering of the past will be gone into forgetting, who will heal wounds better than the time? Will cause that it'll get completely different colours, other meaning, and we will stop look at world this way, as earlier? Whether for everyone something what is necessary for him/her to be happy, without which will feel the emptiness, unsatisfied feeling? Is the one person which will be as the second half of the apple destined for each of us? Must everyone go through life with the designated way? The fact, or only a myth? If at one time we will know, what is the truth, or the case of destiny will be forever remain drifting in the abyss of the human ignorance? Nobody knows it.

Love. Something strong and simultaneously so delicate... Sometimes it's inspiring, sometimes it's leading to tears... It's exposed to attempts and is exposing to attempts... Thanks to it we're becoming convinced, how very much we are able to become close to the other person and how very much lack of him/her hurts... Happens, that for some reason the life is testing us... Often cruelly testing us... Sometimes it's caused by the unwanted course of events, sometimes it just have to be like this, such a fate wrote a scenario that story had been supposed to go. After all not always everything is all roses... Sometimes it's necessary to fight for this, because hard times are, like in every field of our being, but it's an attempt only, examination in feelings, a shock therapy being supposed to make us aware, what and who is most important for us... If we love truly, if this love is true and mutual, becomes hugest power in the world. Nothing and nobody won't defeat it. It's  indestructible. It will survive everything, will win. Years, kilometres, time - are stopping being significant... True love will survive everything. It's just necessary to notice it, develop and never let go... Because this is a gift, one of the most beautiful gifts which man can receive, something what can make his/her life happiest and most exceptional in the world... If love turned up in your life, care for this and don't let go. Never. Regardless of everything and everyone. Remember.

Happiness. What actually is this? And what its paradox is, that poor, ailing, hungry, orphaned, and without roof above the head, the ones which really could say that life didn't spare them, are able to be pleased with this, to appreciate it, and the ones which live on the good stage, cannot complain, or what worse, in luxury with the excess of cash, all the time feel sorry for themselves, how are they the poorest and most injured...? This is the justice... Yeah... Many people through half a life, or even through entire mumble that they're unhappy, exasperating, lonely, that wasn't given them, that they weren't destined for the success, love wasn't written for them, finding their own happiness, building a safe nest wasn't destined for them... And the truth is that there's no man in the world which doesn't deserve the fulfilment, which never will be like this, there's no! Whether there's a healthy, or a sick person, everyone deserves being happy and can have it! It's necessary only to think positively, work and most importantly not to give up! Never! But first of all can appreciate it, what have! Yeah, but... Of course it must always be some "but"... Quite a lot of persons are convinced, that in order to fulfill one plan, to fulfill one dream, it's necessary to leave all the rest, because it's impossible to reconcile studies, job, the family, love, the travel and aspiring to longed-for aims in one! Because how! It hasn't the smallest chances! Mission impossible level hard! And then are surprised that they're unhappy... And meanwhile everything is possible to do, because for someone wishing - nothing difficult. It isn't necessary at all to give one important thing up in order to achieve other. It's not necessary. It's necessary only to fight. To fight for dreams and fulfilling them. To fight for this, what the most important. If for somebody really care about something, will make success of it. So man, pull yourself together, set to work and work! You can have it, you can be happy, but mustn't let happiness to slip through your fingers, and fight for this! Fight how much power you have! You can do this! What are you risking, yeah what? You aren't sure, but what? Nothing! Because who isn't risking, is losing, and only what in life is certain, these are taxes and a death! So don't give up... Never give up! If you really want something, don't wonder to put into it entire of your power, and you will get it. Just do it. You are a warrior. You are able. You will achieve. With little steps to the aim. You will get what is the most important for you. I believe in you. And you also have to believe. Because there are no impossibles. There are only our psychological restrictions.

Life. Problems. Dilemmas. Often they seem impossible to solve. They are making vertigo, leading to tears. And how to find the way out of the situation, which won't cause that we will be on the edge of the nervous breakdown... Yeah, how? You don't know what to do, what to think, you ask acquaintances, family, friends... Everyone is saying something else, everyone would like to convince you to one's own opinion, but you... You are on the brink, you feel, that something's wrong, that it isn't this, that something doesn't work, is wrong here... Familiar, right? But how to get out...? However maybe instead of seeking advice of everyone around better is to listen intently to oneself, listen to the intuition, to ask of own heart... Often it's the best adviser, not a mind, not people... Heart. So dear man, don't make your life harder. Follow its voice, and you will find your happiness... Because this is your life, your chance, your hopes, your dreams, your love, your joy, your fulfilment, your future. Not someone's. Listen to yourself, of your internal voice. Yours heart. It will always tell you the truth. It knows you best. Not people. You know best what you feel, what really you want, to what you aspire, about what you dream... Not people. Listen to yourself, listen to your soul, and you will find what you are searching for. Ask your heart, it will never cheat you...

Look how everything is quickly changing... Something is, and next there is no this...
One moment you have everything, in a minute you are losing everything... So before you say something, before you do something, think it over, think it over even and one hundred times. Before you will hurt, before you lose and you never again recover... Because then you can only regret, regret and every day, every night, of every hour, minute, second, struggle with the thought nothing is already the same, nothing is like before, and beautiful colourful world turned into the lonely emptiness smelling of coolness and greynesses... Therefore think, think before it happens, think before it's already too late... 

People come... People leave... They appear and disappear... The majority thinks, that telling to somebody "Goodbye, I don't wanna know you" definitively is breaking relation with this person, definitively is removing her (him) out from his (her) life, definitively is saying goodbye... So no loved, no ladies and gentlemen! It doesn't work this way. It's not! It's not goodbye...! One time you will meet... Perhaps of not the following day, perhaps not in next week, month, year... But you will meet. Don't be so confident, leaving don't say "Forever". You aren't dying yet, and life makes different pranks and really you can be surprised, if years later once again a person turns up in it, about which a long time ago "you forgot" which you told "Goodbye"... Mountain with mountain won't meet, but man with the man always. Because life unexpectedly can get to one way, to mix chics, to connect paths, to wreathe fates again, without warning, asking, insisting... And to topple everything over upside down. It's not goodbye.

Time... If it was only possible to move it back... Such a question at least once in a lifetime ask itself every of us... But whether it would give something? Whether it would relieve, brought luck, joy? Would it give anything? And also I wonder about the same issue. Yes, yes, you can see well, eyes aren't getting you mixed up - exactly I. If such a possibility existed, whether using it and moving back in the time for the appropriate, longed-for moment would be a better solution, before everything began, before the ups and downs of life decided for us... Up to the moment which preceded all next, which saved traces in our mind, perhaps beautiful traces, but for some reason we want to wipe them out from our memory, because thinking about them is too painful and is a tear-jerker like an onion, perhaps traces bad, wounding the  psyche, painful like a thousands of sabres and machetes, about which we want to forget regardless of everything, but we aren't able... Yes... The human memory is a miracle, one of the greatest miracles, however it's able also to be a malicious bitch and never won't let forget... Even if we've dreamt of it and prayed. It isn't possible. The brain remembered and the end. Until you are enjoying the health, you will remember. Maybe it is okay, maybe it is badly. So what? What's the case with this our memory, memories and turning back the time? It would be worthwhile doing it, whether rather no, hmm? Maybe rather no, hm? Perhaps however recalling, if they're beautiful, or if they're painful, unimportant that leading to extreme emotions it's  worthwhile keeping forever and treating them as something what was given for us, what makes us good persons, lets sober up, more cautiously, more cautiously to look ahead to the future and to build it best how we can do this... In the end nobody will get our memories and the knowledge back, true? It's treasure which we will carry in ourselves through the entire life and one from few, and maybe even an only thing which we will take to the grave. Forever.

Sometimes happens that we want to forget about somebody, to rub him out from memory, to delete from the life, to dissociate from everything what is tied with him... Forever. It's really hard, particularly if person, even if hardly nothing didn't link us with, caused us enormous harm, not recalling about which, what worse we trusted and given warm feelings. When somebody did something what destroyed from inside, burdened psychological to such an extent the most evil thoughts started being in a jumble in a head, didn't felt like them living... People are able to stick a stab into the back... Yes... I know it as far as too well. However everyone probably knows this paradox, that more is fighting for the oblivion, all the more this man and painful memories associated with him are taking hold into the mind. Unfortunately, but the truth is, that even if it isn't known what we do and if we tried very hard, forever we will already be somehow or other associated with people, with which now we don't want to have nothing to shared. Moments, situations, words, everything what we passed together, became a part of our life so to speak, of us alone, formed our more distant fates. Experiences with the participation of even these most hated persons, influenced whom we had become, how our psyche changed, our mentality, who we are now. It's possible to struggle with it, to do a everything in order to forget and actually to achieve the opposite effect than planned, or to be reconciled with a past, to appreciate oneself, the person which we are at present, to find at least a smallest positive in what the past gave to the present time and to open for the better future, because the past is an indelible part of each of us.