If this way to think... Where's the justice in this world? Why is it like one person can't show off neither the intelligence, nor the wisdom, but has talent, so automatically also the respect, the glory and the plenty other benefits practically for free? For no particular reason, for waving the finger. Doesn't need to has education, won't work hard, and has everything. Simply miracle, honey, raspberry. Meanwhile somebody 'normal' who isn't 'chosen' one through the entire life must fight for survival, to sweat one's guts out, at first for years at the more and more difficult school, next for the rest of life in the frequently tiring work, but so and so often isn't reaching it, what more than one above average talented 'feather-brain'. It's not fair. To study, to acquire the knowledge, to try, but... People still don't appreciate it. Because for what. This is a justice. Haha, at least normal will get to know normal, cool people, for what stars rather can't to count :)
I'm more and more often under the impression that a life is one great game. People are hidden behind million of appearances, are covering the face with hundreds of masks, often cheating themselves, killing the true personality, at all costs wanting to become an ideal in other's eyes... The question usually reads as follows: For what? For what it all? Maybe behind this something deeper is hidden? Perhaps there's some reason? We're putting a brave face on it, we are smiling, dying inside... We're strangling, concealing 'ME', creating the illusion of the perfect life, of beautiful idyll... Without sadness, tears, problems, destroying mentally people. Yes, we are getting by with many obstacles, bucking up in ourselves, and then defeating them with strength of the atom bomb, or little steps, everyone in his/her own way... However of man - parasite it won't be possible to rub it off like the pencil picture... He/she causes that man hasn't willingness. Hasn't willingness to life. A meaning, ambitions, hopes, faith are losing everything, are disappearing. Black appears. Overwhelming black emptiness. By such an energy vampire even the most seemingly cheerful and smiling person can't cope... When is staying alone, without the audience, crowd, nerves are letting go, masks are falling, tears are flowing... Emotions are getting the upper hand... Every night belongs to them. Next again it's necessary to pull oneself together and to wade, to get lost in the lie, into the lie, of which every day is a property, to lie to oneself that is somebody happy and smile from ear to ear... As far as a consecutive night will come. This way a life of many people is rolling in search for the freedom, of hope that it'll be at one time better the time will come, when it won't be necessary to persuade oneself of happiness.
You think that I don't know how you're acting? You think that I'm enough stupid in order to overlook how you are lying? How are you whirling? How you're pretending to get attention to yourself and play a born loser, poor martyr? If yes, I'm congratulating the intelligence. Even the halfwit would decipher your scams. Woman, whether you are normal? You're talking alone to yourself, imitating the innocent, trying to burden groundless accusations other, simulating all possible illnesses, you are playing the most injured in the world, you think that you'll burden it for 'inconvenient' persons, and the same time the ones which can see what you're doing most willingly would send you to psychiatric hospital. OMG, girl, it's time to come off to the trip to the psychiatrist, cause probably only what you are sick, is a lack of the brain. I didn't bother for writing 'of you' and 'you' with great letters (that's the rule in Polish), because this principle is regarding only and only exclusively respected people, and you aren't deserving it. You are deleted. Closed ward for mentally ill is waiting.
Through last days the level of my irritation continues on the very high level, I could straight out say it reaches the zenith. And what's the reason? Yes, like title's saying certain the exceptionally irritating type of the man, that's the narcissus. The loved person simply must, but he/she must boast, to show off, to radiate intelligence, actually the stupidity and... Yeah. He/she thinks that is cool, and with this time doing nothing else, as soon as is irritating of everything around. Thinks that is super, however rapidly surroundings is an ordinary clown which is suffering to the self-admiration, as a result of what in the end officially is becoming a laughing stock, at least probably drowning in glitter of his/her ideal even doesn't notice it. Supposedly it should for me be unpleasantly, but... Such a pearl deserved. I simply love people which regard best, most beautiful, cleverest oneself and only oneself and at all very superlatives, regarding one's person as the highest divinity, professing the policy 'look at me everyone!' Mmmm I adore them -.-
After what I will write here, you can say I'm abnormal, strange or what you want, but... Through the recent month I carried a kind of 'experiment', that's every day, if only I remembered my dream enough, I inspected it (attention, attention!!!)... in the dream book what supplied to break this to my password of my smartphone dictionary (lol)... Fortunately I already got rid of it.
I wanted to become convinced, to check what in this mystical and (in my humble opinion) false invention fans can see it. What it has in itself so what it's buying, that believe in it (let us not delude ourselves) hundreds of thousands of people worldwide? Why is it enough... I don't know how to determine it... Universal adapting to the life almost of every reader? After several weeks 'observation' I stated, that so-called 'book of the dream' is simply... masterpiece of psychology! It's exploiting the power of persuasion to mix up people's mind, to cause in them hope, joy or awaking fear, danger. It's transferring the man from the pole to the pole. From euphoria to depression. Without human imagination (which, let us not delude ourselves - is huge) the dream book wouldn't have chances of the existence. It is its key to success. I won't be talking how according to this hmm... Hahaha yeah... is my life, because it's a clean comedy, I'm telling you, clean comedy.
For the X woman is getting up in the morning and on apnea is running 'to ask the authority' which is foretelling her the quarrel of the century. The poor is doing everything to avoid it, however subconsciously is starting waiting for the smallest mistake of surroundings and when it's happening, immediately is provoking the row, and then... Oh my! It came true! My dream came true! Remarkable! Only get down woman, neatly tap on the head, because not a dream book influences your future, but it's doing the reliable brainwashing for you and YOU, yes YOU, this way you unwittingly insistently are trying, if only 'predictions' became true. Dammm da da damm... And that's the mysterious visions. Magic!
After a few weeks of leaving the blog on its own, of not adding anything here I'm coming back without the bad news and complaining! Something unusual like to the current subject matter of added entries, right? ;)
The novelties are, that in spite of the multitude of events, less and more satisfactory which since the certain time meet me, of autumn and winter walking fast, the plenty of duties and the learning, my mood is more and more good, I'm feeling even better than in holidays! Energy, jollity, I'm motivated to maximum for reaching for what I'm dreaming of and I've always dreamt. I believed, that that's all possible, nothing, of what it isn't possible to get, if really want it! Now I know that I can. I know that I won't give up. I know that I will manage! Because it's my purpose, it's my life! World is standing open before me! You can say, that I can't manage, that I'm a dreamer, but don't delude yourselves, you won't destroy me. That's you are weak. You don't have a faith, not I. So there is a difference between us. Life is beautiful and will be more and more beautiful. I have only one miracle and I won't waste it.
And you worry yourselves, lose beautiful moments at bad thoughts.
You know what? One thing is puzzling me: if universally is saying that a laughter is health, everything good, expression of the interpersonal sympathy and the like why this way many persons think about often smiling people, laughing as a somebody mysterious, suspected who all the time is combining something, isn't known what he/she means, as a somebody unpredictable, or what at all absurd 'abnormal'. With this time I personally think that they have a problem with themselves, the ones to which the smile is posing a threat, rather than the ones which are laughing. In the end if somebody feels endangered in the presence of the smiling man, it's probably something isn't ok. Such a person must have considerable disorders of self-esteem, ha, even personalities, isn't known what great complexes, if feels fear of someone's joy. So far I thought that it was an amiable gesture which will move people close, but looks like it, that in some is arousing great fear. Strange matter, don't you think? To be afraid of a smile. It's interesting, it's interesting, I won't say. And don't think that I'm writing out nonsenses here, cause I know what I'm writing. I also belong to the circle of 'Forever Smile' and I personallied find out, that such timid freaks really exist. Apart from that, if somebody of you has similar character, most probably more than once met with stuffed shirts. However fascinating creatures people are. Somebody who's diverging from the norm will always find. Somebody will always break down, or else will make laugh. Endless source of the inspiration. Therefore I love to observe them.
Dear man, each of us has his/her own life, joys, problems and you too, so very much please you, remember about it. Pay attention on your family and friends, devote more time to them, talk to them, make them feel that they are important for you. By them your life makes sense, you can always rely on them, rather than on person completely alien to you, above which you're just touched, he/she won't help, most probably even doesn't know that by his/her you are rejecting persons, on which it should depend for you the most... They need you, and you even don't notice them, cause you're busy hard-luck story above somebody else. Do you know how it's wounding? How does it ache? If this way you are acting or ever did, empathize with this situation, imagine, how would you feel, if rejected you for somebody completely STRANGE (!)? If would ignore you? Imagine, that in the same situation like this 'intruder' relatively recently were you and nobody were touched it, YOU (!) didn't take over, nobody cried, didn't comfort... And what? How are you feeling? Pleasantly? Somebody whom you don't appreciate so just feel, you are knock off to the background, you hurt. You have your life, family and friends, appreciate it. With such behaviour you can poison your relations forever and never again regain them. Live your own life, rather than someone's.
What for you is the age? Ordinary number, whether however something more? You consider yourself somebody better, cleverer, more important only cause you are elder than some of your acquaintances? Do you belong to the circle of big-heads, for which the date of birth is a ticket to the power? Or you think, that it's nothing meaning set of digits? Worst what can be, it's imitating the alpha and omega, even towards the person which is the month younger, but is called, that the year. Entire year! Oh! Can feel how it isn't known who! You are younger - you are worse! God, how I don't like such people... They think that are everything 'best' and at all only superlatives, and actually they differ in nothing, and that's not seldom are stupider and less mature than the ones in their belief 'kids'. What a... -.-
You know it, right? :)
End with it. It's about time to appreciate myself and to stop letting treat like the rag. Longer I won't withstand it. I can't. I must put myself, only how? How am I to oppose to somebody who has a greater power than me? For somebody who's ruining me mentally? Who's destroying quietly? How? How to find such large decks of strength to get up out of myself? How to rebuild myself-assessment and to become stronger? How?
Today a bit from other fairy tale, cause... The time for extending ranges came. I understood, that seeing still into the same point to nothing good won't take me, so in the sphere of blogging I'm opening news in the completely different style, than the one presented here, however I don't intend to give it up, because writing with you influencing on me cleaning, I can always, at any time, any moment write what tired or is tiring me. I simply love it, here I'm writing what I think and I haven't to be afraid that it won't appeal to somebody, but to you how I think it appeals :)
In earlier posts I recalled that at one time I had already written the blog, even two, in different time intervals, but it never made me such joy, how now, then it was like... something in the style of killing time, boredom, and now? Now it's one of ways to express oneself, own sentence, forming something on my own conditions and own principles from pleasure, not compulsion.
If you're willing, you can look also to my additional site, on which at the moment is only one notice, but in the near future I'll try to add next as far as possible regularly.
I hope that you won't leave me:)
In earlier posts I recalled that at one time I had already written the blog, even two, in different time intervals, but it never made me such joy, how now, then it was like... something in the style of killing time, boredom, and now? Now it's one of ways to express oneself, own sentence, forming something on my own conditions and own principles from pleasure, not compulsion.
If you're willing, you can look also to my additional site, on which at the moment is only one notice, but in the near future I'll try to add next as far as possible regularly.
I hope that you won't leave me:)
Perhaps it's strange, but I'm writing this post, because incredible irritate me people, which eternally 'smeare' teenage mothers.
You know nothing about their life, dreams, problems, but you are already chatting. For the majority of society the pregnant teenager = floozie, bitch, whore, slut. And perhaps this girl had reasons, to in so young age decide on the child? Perhaps she's seriously ill, perhaps time, each month, year are working to her disadvantage? Maybe her medical condition is so bad that she won't be able to give birth in the future? Didn't you think about it? Yeah, just. No, cause for what?! Better gossip, offend, hurt, not knowing someone's situation, and most often and this person. If the 30 years old alcoholic, the weedhead or the prostitute will become pregnant, there will be silence, because she's adult (?!)! This can! What for this, that maybe she won't be able to neatly raise a child, maybe even she will kill it, will throw away from the window, or else will leave in the dustbin. After all she is adult! Unimportant that often the teenager is maturer mum than not one woman after the thirty. Important in order to have a subject, to have whom to oppress and of whom to talk over. I'm not writing here about irresponsible parasites which will get the baby to world, and deny of it, prey on their parents, doing 24-hour nannies from them and having fun for their money, cause it's waste of words, but there are girls, for which the baby is an entire world, in spite of this they finish school, are studying on best universities and are leading worth life. Where from you know how mother will be this pregnant 16, 17, 18 year old girl, which you regard as pathology?
Anyway for our loved society a pregnant teenager, and then teenage mother will always be worst, however boy, which this child "made", for instance in the age of 14 year old, will always be "clean".
You know nothing about their life, dreams, problems, but you are already chatting. For the majority of society the pregnant teenager = floozie, bitch, whore, slut. And perhaps this girl had reasons, to in so young age decide on the child? Perhaps she's seriously ill, perhaps time, each month, year are working to her disadvantage? Maybe her medical condition is so bad that she won't be able to give birth in the future? Didn't you think about it? Yeah, just. No, cause for what?! Better gossip, offend, hurt, not knowing someone's situation, and most often and this person. If the 30 years old alcoholic, the weedhead or the prostitute will become pregnant, there will be silence, because she's adult (?!)! This can! What for this, that maybe she won't be able to neatly raise a child, maybe even she will kill it, will throw away from the window, or else will leave in the dustbin. After all she is adult! Unimportant that often the teenager is maturer mum than not one woman after the thirty. Important in order to have a subject, to have whom to oppress and of whom to talk over. I'm not writing here about irresponsible parasites which will get the baby to world, and deny of it, prey on their parents, doing 24-hour nannies from them and having fun for their money, cause it's waste of words, but there are girls, for which the baby is an entire world, in spite of this they finish school, are studying on best universities and are leading worth life. Where from you know how mother will be this pregnant 16, 17, 18 year old girl, which you regard as pathology?
Anyway for our loved society a pregnant teenager, and then teenage mother will always be worst, however boy, which this child "made", for instance in the age of 14 year old, will always be "clean".
The bigger section of society lives in the belief, that being in surrounding plenty of people it isn't possible to feel alone. And a problem lies in it. You think that there's nobody which in spite of the numerous company aren't feeling fine, but unfortunately ladies and gentlemen, I must put you right, because are, and everything through the fact that in this damn world almost don't exist normal people which man can trust, with which can talk, with which can feel safe, which don't judge not knowing, only by the appearance, instead are trying to understand the second person. Less and less are the ones (if they generally exist) which are sincere, opened, aren't afraid to say directly what they think, aren't talking over behind the back, imitating best friends... So then how to believe in the friendship, if all around somebody can lurk, who will hurt so much, that even the time won't be able to cure of wound? It's worst, that nowadays (I don't know how it was in the past, but I suspect, that however not like now) acceptation is a miracle (!), after all the appearance is most important! The one too low, the one too high, this ginger, this too fat, this ugly, this anorexic, this with tunnels, this with apparatus on teeth, has a straight hair, instead of curly, blue eyes instead of brown and isn't dressed like you... Oh no! Mortal sin! Inexcusable! They look like not this way, how you want it! They aren't interested in this what you are, have a different character, values, they are only children or have 6 siblings, practise other religion, or are atheists... And what with this?! They have every right to it, and for you nothing to it! But no! It's necessary to persecute, to oppress to the end of life! Stop it people, please. It's not cool, not clever, not nice and you won't impress decent man with such behavior. It only proves about your 'the highest' level of the propriety and class. The such behaviour is pitiful. Indeed, exist freedom of speech, but if you gonna hurt somebody, better bite your tongue, everyone will live better.
How then to believe people, feel safe with them, not to yield to the solitude, if above the described situation is omnipresent? How? Still something in you doesn't suit somebody, still this bad, this worse, better not to hang about with him, because it's a cock-up... Too stupid... Lack of the faith, support... Nobody believes that you're able, that you will manage... A superficiality is the most important. A good friend will set half world against you, and the best friend will stick you a stab in the back...
Standard and remarkably familiar image of world...
However my dear 'friends' don't worry, that's all at one time will come back to you.
_________________________________________
At one time we will meet, I promise... We'll see which will be clever. Which self-confident. We will have fun together. I'm curious if at this moment you'll be able to say me straight into my face what you think about me, baby...
Because life is like a boomerang, everything what you are throwing into world at one time will come back to you. Remember about it and be careful. Now your turn.
You know what? After recent events I'm having an overwhelming feeling, that everything about what I care, what I hope, for what I can see 'the light in the tunnel' is actually... Nothing. Ordinary appearance. Supposedly real, and yet unrealistic. Like the rainbow. As if was, and in fact it's only an optical illusion, dispersed particles of the sun's rays, colour light. Even though frequently we are aware it, many of us since the youngest years are dreaming to touch it, to be on its second end... The same is with dreams and hope for realization them. At first something inside us grow up, a chance appears, then somebody is winding the spiral of illusions, false motivation appears, we are imagining how perfectly will be when everything will go fine, when we'll achieve what we've always wanted... And suddenly it's turning out that it was most ordinary 'eye-washing' and in real practically don't have possibility of getting 'star from the sky' without the greater damage than the benefit. In this way the man is losing the faith, and in place of joy feeling of the senselessness appears...
I reached a conclusion that I need changes. Solid changes. This way so I got started to seeking myself, discovering strong points, new prospects for the future, creating plans... At the moment I feel, as if I'm suspended in the space of the nothingness. I don't know what actually I want, what's my real purpose, what I should to do with myself and what in life to do... I haven't a clue whether the way which to this moment I thought as perfect for me, indeed is the one good which I should follow... Whether the my place is here, or perhaps better will be to think about building the future in other place in the world... Whether indeed I've something, what others don't have, and what can help me with many matters, prepares for this? I don't know. Possible, but whether I'm supposed to believe it? Whether it's only my natural abilities and human insinuations? And if that's true? If that's all true? If not everything is really this what like it looks like? Are you man aware of that appearances can be deceptive? Perhaps in fact each of us is completely somebody else, than the person, which others regard and which she/he considers her/himself?
Why some people aren't able to understand, that everything what's ever started, must at one time be end? Aren't they able to understand, that some stage will never come back? That it's already the end?
So this way understand man, I ask you very much, that if I'm not calling, not writing, not answering for messages, not answering the phone, I'm ignoring, I'm dissociating myself, means that I DON'T WANNA BE IN CONTACT WITH YOU!!! Stop deluding yourself that it will change, txt that you missing me, by force to try to bring closer, cause in this way you only more discourage me to you. Stop it. What was, passed. You won't turn back the time. And don't think, what you did badly, because it's unimportant. Everything is finished. Forget. This is the end.
Hi sweeties :)
Behind us night of falling stars, Perseids... It happens once on few or more years. So how? Did you observe? You managed some to notice? Excellent phenomenon, truth? In my case, I'm concerned, unfortunately the weather wasn't best, clouds hid view of the large portion of the sky, however I was in luck. I saw (even!) three. Is saying that at the sight of the falling star it's necessary to think wish, and it will certainly come true. This way so now I'll wait. The time will show, whether some of my wishes will come true, perhaps soon triple happiness will meet me? :)
Behind us night of falling stars, Perseids... It happens once on few or more years. So how? Did you observe? You managed some to notice? Excellent phenomenon, truth? In my case, I'm concerned, unfortunately the weather wasn't best, clouds hid view of the large portion of the sky, however I was in luck. I saw (even!) three. Is saying that at the sight of the falling star it's necessary to think wish, and it will certainly come true. This way so now I'll wait. The time will show, whether some of my wishes will come true, perhaps soon triple happiness will meet me? :)
Because in the recent time a whole lot of questions about pregnancy is coming to my profile on ask.fm. If I am, I was, I'm planning, whether I have a baby atl. etc. The reply reads as follows: NO, I NEVER WAS AND I'M NOT PREGNANT!
People... Don't you think, that in the age of 16 years old it's so a bit too early to children? It's so a bit not right? Maybe there are still girls which aren't let themselves go with first-better guy in this world? Perhaps somebody still cares about the opinion? On their own better future? Cause this way reading these questions, I don't know if seriously or to the joke, I'm under the impression that nowadays a statement that nobody has self-respect, especially teenagers. I'll probably disappoint you, but I most clearly don't belong to this your majority. I know my value and I value it. This way so very much politely I ask you, don't ask me about it anymore.
And on the margin... Congratulations for everyone, who hasn't education, the stabilization and the possibility of providing the good existence for the tiny creature, imported it to world. Applause intelligence.
And on the margin... Congratulations for everyone, who hasn't education, the stabilization and the possibility of providing the good existence for the tiny creature, imported it to world. Applause intelligence.
IF I LOOK LIKE A PREGNANT GIRL?
It was probably the worst night this year, almost generally speaking I didn't sleep. I got into bed at midnight, and I felt asleep after 5 a.m. and woke up at 7:28 a.m. ... As a matter of fact what to be surprised, after all recently the temperature in the day isn't dropping below 40°C in the shadow, about the full solar exposure even not recalling, so probably and at night isn't falling much... Stuffy, warmly, with difficulty is breathe, dizziness. It's impossible to stand it. From over of month the heat is pouring from the sky, and when for the last time it rained... Even I don't remember. Someone's pleased that it's a beautiful, perfect summer, possible to sunbathe (or rather to burn) and the like etc. However for me it's worst its version which can be. It's murderer, all diseases returned with redoubled strength, and some only appeared, but what to advise? Looks like the fact that we should be patient, wait even for the minimal cooling, and at the moment to find other sources of joys in last days of holidays. :)
For whom just for once didn't happen to meet people on his/her road as dripping with the falsehood which, what's worse imitated friends, so that win the confidence, and then in the bad, deceitful way use it? Everybody, right? Yeah, exactly, the facts speak for themselves... This devious 'energy vampires' are everywhere, starting from the man for the first time met on the street, by partners, until friends, family... It's impossible to avoid them. We are under the impression that near us is somebody close, on whom we can rely, who will always help us, we believe, we trust... Up to the moment, when at one point the charm is breaking, masks are falling and real faces of our 'angels' are coming to light...The least of worries, when in good time we felt, that something doesn't play, something's wrong and we detected the friend-enemy before could solidly mixed our life, worse if it's already too late and such a social bastard achieved her purpose toy with his/her victim like with the marionette... Alone I convinced a whole lot of times on my own skin, how much malicious, devious and false people are able to be. I'm sorry to state it, but for a few last years the step into the step followed me my enemy, man (and more, not one) which so far I treated almost how the friend oneself with somebody whom actually generally I didn't know. How is it possible to look straight into someone eyes and non-stop to imitate somebody whom they aren't? Oh, yeah... Right... They weren't able to looking into my eyes... What can sound funny, through the entire time when I was near/around this person (of persons) I was under the impression that some internal voice warn me from it (of them) that it's not good for me. Now I know. It was intuition. The intuition, which I should listened, but I didn't do it, because it seemed worth the laugh for me. Perhaps if I believed, it would be differently now.
Facts came to light, about which existence I hadn't a clue, but the damage, it's possible that then my life would looks like totally different than like now. One I know, principle limited (or rather minimal, if not zero) towards people is still in force. At least thanks to that they aren't able to harm me so much, how they would wish. So that hopefully.
Unfortunately uncover the polluter in the trusted man always aches, and still, when next such a person will appear before us, then again we'll be enough naive, to allow him/her enter to our life... Supposedly so clever, and yet so stupid...
Facts came to light, about which existence I hadn't a clue, but the damage, it's possible that then my life would looks like totally different than like now. One I know, principle limited (or rather minimal, if not zero) towards people is still in force. At least thanks to that they aren't able to harm me so much, how they would wish. So that hopefully.
Unfortunately uncover the polluter in the trusted man always aches, and still, when next such a person will appear before us, then again we'll be enough naive, to allow him/her enter to our life... Supposedly so clever, and yet so stupid...
Why did I establish the blog? Haha good question.
Perhaps because already from longer time I thought about it, maybe because already at one time I wrote one, but I removed, perhaps because a willingness to creating something new and creative overcame me (?)... But the main reason I'd like to share my experience with people, stories of my life, both the ones from the past, as well as with the ones, which only will happen in future ...
I hope that my blog will appeal to you :)
So my darling (future) readers, welcome you warmly very much on my new blog :)
My name is Magdalene. I'm ordinary 16 years-old girl with great dreams and ambitions, living in grey world of the everyday life and ceaseless adversities with which I'm willingly to fight, to at one time I'll manage to reach at the longed-for target and to achieve the dream success.
Hmm... What else... I won't write here about nonsenses interests, hobbies of the type of the musician, sport, dance, because It's so banal... After all the majority part of people around us likes it... and my most important interest is... Man. Medical studies and the medical profession are my priorities... But at the moment I still have the of high school full of adventures, science and new friendships. I hope that everything will be fine :)
